I am a very spiritual person. I have my very own philosophy about God and the workings of the Universe. Much like the American Indians, I believe that animal spirits guide us/me. A number of months after we lost our first child, Michael Dylan, I had a dream. During my pregnancy with Dylan and up to this dream, I had a series of dreams with water in them. The water took different forms. Sometimes it was wild and scary, sometimes it was calm and clear, or dark and dreary, or cool and soothing, or sometimes it was just there.
In this particular dream, the water was lively and exciting. All kinds of things were happening in the water, and I was watching these events from the shore. All of a sudden this little brown bear Cub came swimming up to me. I remember thinking to myself in the dream I should be scared of this wild creature. But something seemed familiar and gentle about him. The Cub had a leather harness strapped to him with long reins trailing behind. The next thing I knew I was in the water with the Cub swimming behind him and holding onto the reins. It was an exciting, adventuresome feeling.
We swam towards a gate and I got scared and tried to stop the Cub and I from going through it. The Cub led me back to the shore. When we got there, I was very confused. I wanted to keep the Cub and protect him and play with him and be close to him. But something inside me told me I must take the harness off him and let him go. So I took the harness off and said goodbye to the Cub. I remember as he swam away, feeling a little empty and lonely, but in my heart I knew I had done the right thing.
When I woke up the next day, I couldn't stop thinking about the dream. As time passed, I started to understand the symbolism in the dream. In my heart and soul, I know that the little bear Cub was my Dylan coming to me to say goodbye and to let me know it was time to let go.
Thank you Dylan/God for sending me a symbolic message in such a beautiful way! Dylan is a Gaelic name which means "Son of the Sea."
Written in memory of my son, Michael Dylan Miller (MCAD)
Always your loving mother,
Simone Suzanne Miller
New Brighton, PA